Tough Conversations
Having a conversation about racism can be daunting. Australia’s professional soccer players share insights to help you feel more confident in approaching conversations on racism.
Confidence.
Bernie Ibini and Rhys Williams from the Western Sydney Wanderers Football Club explored how common it is to feel unsure where to start.
“I think people are scared of talking about racism because they don't know how to deal with it,” says Rhys.
“I had this conversation yesterday about teachers. A kid goes to the teacher and says, this is happening. The teacher says, Just get on with it. I think they're just nervous and scared and don’t know what to say about it.”
Watch Bernie Ibini and Rhys Williams’ Reflect Forward conversation on racism.
Empathy.
Bernie points out that the personal quality of empathy is vital for people to feel more confident talking about racism. And that without this heartfelt human connection, these conversations can be harder.
“If you’ve never been in those shoes, you don’t know what to say,” says Bernie. “If you’ve never had to deal with it, then it’s like ‘whatever’. You don’t know the feeling.”
“To have this sort of conversation, it’ll open a lot of people’s eyes to different experiences.”
Allies.
Kusini Yengi of Adelaide United says that he sometimes avoids talking about racism.
“There are times where things are said in the changeroom, or anywhere, and I don’t feel comfortable speaking up about it or commenting on what has been said,” says Kusini. “Mainly because most of the time I’m the minority in the room. And I feel like whatever I say, people won’t be understanding of it.”
Energy.
Kusini says that it can be hard to find the energy to talk about racism.
“It does get a little bit tiring. Like if you get into a conversation with someone and they’re not understanding. And you’re going back and forth, back and forth. It’s like, there’s no point really,” says Kusini.
Ben Halloran of Seoul FC, Kusini’s former teammate, says he can understand where Kusini is coming from. “Especially when a joke is made, it’s like, is it worth the energy? And 100% I think it is.” But sometimes we hold back, not knowing how people are going to react.
Watch Kusini Yengi and Ben Halloran’s Reflect Forward conversation on racism.
Courage.
Fear of saying the wrong thing can also hold us back. This is an experience that Canberra United footballers Emma Ilijoski and proud Kanolu and Gangulu woman, Allira Toby can relate to. Emma wanted to talk with Allira about Australia Day, Invasion Day to show that she cared.
“To make you feel less alone. To know that people are thinking of you. And that it's something we want to rectify in Australia. I think little conversations like this is where it starts.” She recalls mustering the courage through the training session to reach out to Allira. “I asked, how does today make you feel, how are you today? And you were nice enough to take the time to tell me how you felt. It can be hard, because you don't want to say the wrong thing.”
For Allira, Emma reaching out was a very humbling experience.
“Because it's obviously not a nice day, we don't like to celebrate it. I definitely don't like to celebrate it. So I think for you going out of your way to ask me how I felt was, for me, so nice,” says Allira. “I’m very happy that you did that.”
Watch Allira and Emma’s Reflect Forward conversation on racism.
Support.
“I’m a firm believer that athletes should speak out when they believe in something. But I think at the same time we’re not really encouraged as athletes to voice issues if they could potentially be controversial,” says Ben.
“I think clubs or the sporting world want people to have opinions, but only to a certain degree. They don’t want to be challenged too much.” Ben points to the experience of champion AFL footballer and Indigenous leader Adam Goodes and says it’s important for athletes to voice these issues.
“Because, if we don’t, it’ll just keep getting marginalised. It’ll be like, just stick to sport, don’t speak about these things, just stay in your lane.”
Practice.
Here are some ways that we can all practice having tough conversations on racism:
Learn how to respond to racism so that we’re stronger together.
Share our energy and speak up when we can, so that no one feels as though they’re fighting racism alone.
Learn about racism. Knowledge is power and will work wonders for your confidence in speaking up when it counts.
Seek out friendships and connections with people who may have a different cultural background to yours.
Be brave, you never know what a difference speaking up will make. And you’re sure to learn along the way.
We’re so grateful to Kusini, Ben, Allira, Emma, Bernie, and Rhys for sharing their experiences, and to Professional Footballers Australia for helping to make these conversations possible.
